I once again find myself in an interesting season. A season that seemingly contradicts the prior season. Where the season before was me saying, “YES” (so much so I wrote a Christmas Play about it), this season is all about learning when to say, “NO.”
No, because I am just too busy and I am only one person. My plate is filled to capacity on the job and in my personal life with passion projects. A lot of opportunities have come across my desk where I really have to take a step back and weigh the options. Rather than looking at the end goal and/or benefits, I am now learning how to take a 360 approach and assess the amount of time, energy, travel, conversations, and workload that will go into the opportunity, once I say Yes.
Now, if it was the season before, I would have absolutely said YES to everything that came across my way. Whether that be new opportunities, new relationships/friendships, producing new creative endeavors, entertaining new and old energy. I was entertaining all of those things, just because I low key thought I was “Wonder Woman” and YES I can do it all. I think as women mature, we become more independent, we enjoy owning our own, becoming our own boss, and running our own ship. It produces a sense of powerful, sexy, motivational energy we harness inside – that gives us the gumption to feel ok with doing so much all at once and being everything to everyone.
And it’s becoming more evident within the media – from the Kardashian empire to Gabrielle Union’s character on Being Mary Jane, society has depicted women as doing it all, having it all together and then some. Heck, even Beyonce gave a shoutout to women who are able to handle motherhood and business.
For women, it becomes a power statement saying, “Yes, I do that, I do this, oh I also do this, and wait I do this too”. But after awhile, you get tired and you have less time for yourself. And the 100% you are used to putting into everything becomes 50% here, 20% here, 10% here, until you have nothing left for yourself.
Dragging myself home from an exciting, yet exhausting weekend, I realized I had hit my wall. I was mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually drained. I sipped from the Wonder Woman cup my sister-in-law got me for my 25th birthday and just really looked at it. It really made me think about the modern day Wonder Woman.
I believe the greatest strength of the modern day Wonder Woman would be her ability to DISCERN. In the cartoon, Wonder Woman had to discern accordingly to know when to suit up and put her cape on or when to be her alter ego, which was the day-to-day “Diana Prince”. Wonder Woman wasn’t “Wonder Woman” all the time. Yes, at her core she was still the all powerful, all inspiring, world saving, bad-ass feminist we know her to be. But she didn’t wear those titles outwardly everyday. I’m sure even she was exhausted, and frankly, sometimes you need to give the cape a rest and put your onesie on.
In the series, Wonder Woman also had to discern between which super powers or weapons would work best for the circumstance or against her opponent. Wonder Woman had the ability of flight and was highly skilled at a young age in combat. She was well known for her super human strength, endurance, reflexes and intelligence. And of course, we can’t forget about the “Lasso of Truth”, her indestructible bracelets and her weaponized tiara.
But, can you imagine her using them all at once? It would be chaotic and probably get her no where.
A modern day Wonder Woman must learn when to take flight, when to stand her ground and which skill, expertise and/or “super power” works best for the current season. Not every season or situation requires you to be everything all at once. In my opinion, what is truly sexy – is a woman who knows she can do all things, but takes her time in showcasing them to others. It’s the equivalent of wearing a sexy bra and panty set in the boardroom and only YOU KNOW you have it on!
Knowing your strengths and discerning between your “super powers” gives you that edge of assessing your season/situation and really begin mapping out your strategy and victory.
The other day, I had a great convo with the founder of “Life According To Her”, Ahyiana. Even though we initially connected over the phone about potential opportunities in the new year, she said something to me that really stood out. She said, as you become more seasoned in life, you begin realizing that the best way to handle life is to remain fluid. Allow life to happen and just go with the flow. Sometimes, things falls apart just to allow better things to come together.
I laughed because, little did she know – that’s exactly where I find myself. Becoming a seasoned Wonder Woman! Learning when to say YES and suit up to be the multi-hypenated phenom I know I can be. But also learning when to take a step back, discern accordingly and feel comfortable with saying NO. All the while, remaining fluid and resilient because life throws you curve balls and challenges just to keep you awake, on your toes and to sharpen you.
A modern day Wonder Woman may have a lot going on, she may be mentally and emotionally tired – but she continues to persevere no matter what. She begins to recognize when it’s time to take the cape off and just be “Diana Prince” or when the full armor of “Wonder Woman” needs to be present. She begins to make adjustments within her own life, so she can maintain her own inner being. She never gives up her cape or her titles, but she becomes comfortable letting a few titles take a backseat while she works on what she is most passionate about during that season.
So, don’t stress if an opportunity presents itself but you are unable to fully give it your all, at this time. What is meant to be will be. I would rather wait for the opportunity to present itself again, so I can fully enjoy the process and the celebration at the end, rather than be too tired and overly extending that the end result falls flat and the celebration is lackluster. Also, there’s no need to rush or add excess baggage onto your plate, just to give off the illusion that you have so much going for you. Become comfortable with allowing each season to sharpen the necessary and equip you for the next.
Life is meant to be enjoyed, not rushed. So, if you need a day off – take one. If you have 5 things going at once and maybe 3 can wait until next year – do that. That solo vacation you’ve been putting off, pack your bags and just do it! At the end of the day, there’s only one you. Even with all the variations and super powers, there was only one Wonder Woman. And trust me, even Wonder Woman took days off purely to enjoy her space, her energy and her life. (Probably all in her onesie).