Dear Mr. Soulmate #retrospect

August 9, 2014

I wake up with the sun and sleep with the moon, yet I write during the sunset. 
How silly we are to think this could have lasted. How naive we were to think the universe was on our side. 
Is this just a hiccup or are we actually done?

Where does the love go so fast?
I feel just as scared as you are – was this a joke, a prank against the two involved?
How could the genesis be so beautiful yet the Yeezus be our demise?

How could we walk away? 
How can we not?
If this is real, then what are you afraid of – really falling in love? Committment?

Where do you stand?
How do you feel? 

Set therapy chairs …………………… Breathe.

Where are you right now? Are you lost? Can you feel this hurt emanating to your existence? I hope it makes you feel alive, you’ve been numb for so long baby – let me help you come alive. 

SSSHHHHH … Sit there.
And see the truth, embrace the reality and feel those false promises. 

Are you hurting right now? I want you to burn those illusions from from the inside out because yes someone can and will actually love you. 

How foolish to think that it wasn’t about you. Find yourself in this moment and really connect with your heart.

Ask yourself – can i do this forever?

Will you step up and break the cycle? I need this just as bad as you do. Our future is riding on this decision. I need someone to show up just as you need someone to show up for you… 

I need you to stand up and remember our promises.
I need you to wake up and remember how I WAS THERE FOR YOU when you needed someone to talk to, to be there for you, to pray for you and to pray with you.

I took your breath away – no, literally – I took your breath away.

You enjoyed us. 
Don’t give up on us because its hard or complicated or just confusing.

(Where we were) was a real thing – I brought you up to my spaceship and shared my world with you.
Opened the vault and allowed you to see a real heart, a real love worth telling the truth for.
I didn’t lick your wounds and use mommy band-aids to make it feel better, for you to show it off to her. 

I wanted you to stay with me.

Show up. You have to show up. My heart depends on it. 

I am a heartbreaker, but don’t break mine. 

Ah, the damage it will take on will shatter on this one blow. 

Show me you care.

Show me you need me, want me.

Show me … you love me.

Prove to me, this wasn’t a waste of time, a waste of love. 

Let me see your face, why do you hide from me?
Why are you so ashamed of yourself?

LOOK AT ME and tell me it’s over then! 
Peer into the soul of my existence and verbalize your situation. 
Feel the fire of acceptance of your own truth. 



Dear Mr. Soulmate,
Why aren’t you here?
Where are you?

#retrospect … the best thing you never had.