May 21, 2015
You’re not going to make this easy for me. I know because I can feel the weight of my tears behind my eyes.
You keep me pulling me and pulling me closer to the heavens, forcing me to go against gravity and go against the grain.
You want more from me and at the same time I’m like what more can I give.
You’re asking for me to do things I never would have thought would have been possible. Things I never wrote down on my to do list.
You, Lord, you are plucking feathers in my wings, cutting off dead branches on my tree, pruning the thorns on my rose buds.
You, Lord, you are asking me to be greater than I can imagine. Greater than I could have dreamt of, greater than anyone in my family could fathom. Greater.
You want me to do things that will cause people to question who what when where and why. You, Lord, are testing me. Testing to see how far I am willing to go in being a vessel into you. Testing to see how much I can handle before I break and call on you as my emergency contact.
I did not know that it would take this many tears, heartaches, questions, smiles, humbling moments to do your will.
But you are building me up as the strongest woman I know. A lighthouse that can stand tall in the sky and not waver at the sight of a thunderstorm.
You are using me in the most magnificent ways. Forcing me beyond my breaking point and showing me that I can withstand any trial or tribulation.
I do not mind. I may cry, but I do not mind at all. I am open to you. Open to allowing you to use my body and mind and heart and voice to speak your words, to work in your vineyard, to be of service to your people to show them that things they worry about are simply frivolous.
You are asking me to show people that it does not take much to connect with you. Yes, it is hard at times to get out the boat, but once we are out – look we are walking on water.
One thing I ask of you is to never let me go. I know people will come for me, show my sins to the world while they’re sins remain hidden, question who you are in my life, question the light that surrounds me – But God.
If it is your will Lord, let it be done. Let it be done so it my glorify you.
I am thankful for the life you have given me. Thankful for the dreams you are manifesting in my life. Thankful for those you put in my midst that will love and support me as I continue on this journey.
I am living my dreams and then some.
In Jesus name Amen.